For reasons unknown to me, our friends have begun reproducing. This is a scary fact that must be dealt with with a clear head and iron stomach. I am nearing the age of reproduction (WITH A GOOD DOSE OF DENIAL -and also not for about 3-4 years) and when that happens I will forgo wine and sushi and rare steak and unpasteurized cheese for close to a year in the service of a bunch of cells that will literally suck nutrients out of my body and then become an ungrateful child that will suck money out of my bank account for extravagant things like ‘food’ and ‘college’ and ‘winter coats.’
Until I must face my own child-filled reality I can enjoy other people’s babies from the safe distance of NOT MY WOMB and send them cute clothes and stuffed animals and felt baby slippers that I have been diligently manufacturing. Because obviously.